September 20, 2010
"In my hole in the basement there are exactly 1,369 lights. I’ve wired the entire ceiling, every inch of it. And not with fluorescent bulbs, but with the older, more-expensive-to-operate kind, the filament type. An act of sabotage, you know. I’ve already begun to wire the wall. A junk man I know, a man of vision, has supplied me with wire and sockets. Nothing, storm or flood, must get in the way of our need for light and ever more and brighter light. The truth is in the light and light is the truth. When I finish all four walls, then I’ll start on the floor"
- The Invisible Man.
Sometimes I feel like the invisible man - dying for more light in the dark spaces. I find that one finds light through loving to the point of expense. Because I think that love, in any real form, always costs one person or another. I read an Andree Seu blog today about this exact thing. It was entitled "going first." I was particularly moved by the following -
"My own personal experience of being loved unilaterally is that it is completely disarming. Love can break a bone better than meanness. When somebody 'goes first' to love me after I’ve been boorish, coals from heaven and hell are heaped on my head. I could even envy the one who goes first; I know that a person like that is free. He is not controlled by other people’s issues. They may hurt him but they can never destroy him...he does all he does from a position of strength."
I was loved unilaterally, this evening, after learning the photo technique of "painting with light" this weekend. The two aren't so different - you turn off the lights in a room, set a frame open for an extended amount of time, and turn a flashlight on to illuminate the beauty in a thing until the moment closes, and then run back behind the tripod to check out what you created.
I'm thankful for what illumination created in me.
(Special thanks to Jason and Pia for having this Invisible Man quote up in their garage, and making me think).
Image via this photobucket.