January 26, 2010
She loves her brothers, and smiles when I say their names.
I wonder how I'll go back to school and work and regular life without her. She makes me laugh. She fills my heart, to quote Fernando Ortega, "like an open sail." She gives me someone else to think about. She gives me love.
I guess that's why I cry so hard in the airport every time I come home from a trip overseas. So much of the work you do for others is self centered, in that it gives you purpose, gives you change, gives you newness of life, gives you love you didn't have before.
Being loved by people like her puts you on a high that lasts.
I see, now, that your heart can breathe a sigh of relief when it gets things you never knew it needed. I had no way of knowing I was born to have a sister. I didn't know that there was an empty spot in me that would feel whole when she came. I never knew how much I would love to giggle with her under the covers, smile at her style or listen to her talk. I didn't know that she would come, and I would feel the same as her - that she would understand that sometimes you just HAVE to cry for no reason, and other times you just HAVE to laugh your head off at everything around you even though no one else is finding it's funny. Brothers just aren't as good at these things. She gets it.
She even fixed my shirt this morning when she walked by.
Here's some pictures of our silly day: