Sometimes I think it's the little things that show you that God is real, He's involved and He's listening.
I've been learning that lately.
I was in an unusually bad mood when we went to the beach on our last day in Mendocino. I walked down the beach by myself, and my camera kept dying after I had just changed the batteries. I started thinking about all the money I don't have, and all the things I need, and about the school I have left to do, and the ways I should really work on changing this year. I started thinking about how badly I want to go to Africa, and how badly I want certain dreams I have to work out. I started worrying about it all.
I might have also thought about how badly I want a new bra for my car, and that stressed me out too. I'll be honest - I'm shallow like that.
And then I realized that, sometimes, all I do is tear myself down in my thoughts. I don't think about all the little things that are good, and how happy my life is. I don't think about the ten people who love me and go through life right by my side for every one person who sits and throws stones. I don't think about how happy I am, on a regular basis - and how many times I just sit and laugh my head off throughout the day.
I thought about all the people who have made a difference in my life, and how much this past year held that I didn't expect.
I stared out at the ocean while this couple to my left got kind of awkward to be around.
I let go of a lot, right then. On purpose. I realized I've spent so much time worrying about things that worked themselves out.
I looked down, about them, and my camera came alive about long enough to capture what I saw sitting on the beach by my feet. It's my last picture from the weekend: